Softening strength.

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What if we stopped being strong all the time ?



Strong enough to be soft 

I’ve always admired women who carry the world on their shoulders with a designer bag in one hand and a coffee in the other, and men with pressed shirts and heavy silences - all while managing to keep their looks intact. 


They’re the ones who smiles through stress, text back with heart emojis while internally falling apart, and say « I’m fine » with a grace that almost makes you believe it. I used to think that was strength - the ability to stay composed, to push through, top endure. But lately, I’ve started to wonder:

What if strength isn’t about holding it all together… but knowing when to fall apart?



In a society that celebrates hustle, ambition, and stoic detachment, there’s little room for softness. We’ve been taught to wear resilience like it’s Chanel - always in season, always appropriate. But no one ever tells you that it weighs more than it wears. 


And so, I found myself sitting alone one night, still dressed from the day, shoes abandoned at the door, staring at the ceiling like it had the answers. And all I could feel was… exhaustion. Not the kind sleep fixes - the kind that lives in your bones. The kind that comes from performing strength on a loop. 


We’re told to be strong men, strong women, strong souls. But what if being strong means being brave enough to say: ‘’I’m not okay today’’?


What if the real power isn’t in pretending - but in permission?


Permission to feel. 

To pause

To cry without apologizing.

To exhale without explaining.


So I took a night off from pretending. Light up a cigarette, let the silence sit beds me, and gave myself the luxury of feeling everything I’d pushed aside. And in that still, dimly lit moment - dressed in nothing but honesty - I discovered something unexpected: 


Softness isn’t weakness.
It’s survival.


And maybe - just maybe - the strongest thing you can do …

Is allow yourself to be soft.



“All artworks belong to their respective artists. No copyright infringement intended.

Image Credits :

Artist, Erence Maluleke  / Unknown /"Dreaming by the Sea", ThingDesign / Artist, Maxime Rokus. - Via Pinterest

© The Column-2025

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